Scream Screen Virus Spreading Ahead of Halloween*

Scream Screen Virus Spreading Ahead of Halloween*


You’re really going to need a screen saver for this.

A new virus dubbed the Scream Screen targets online computers and has become the most physically dangerous program in history. It will actually overheat your monitor and cause your screen to explode right in your face. More than 1,600 reports of injuries have been reported in the last few days. Everyone is advised to be very careful when downloading anything, including emails and seemingly innocent requests from Facebook.

“We’ve never, ever seen anything like this,” exclaims Rob Enhood of the Worldwide Internet Patrol (WIP), “This computer virus is programmed to attack human beings. The results are serious facial disfigurements and, in some instances, death. We’ve only learned about the virus this last week of October and are urging people to notify their friends and family. Some sick programmers have decided to launch their horrible virus to coincide with Halloween. We can only hope we get the word out before more people are maimed or killed,” Enhood warns.

The Scream Screen virus works by breaching the circuitry responsible for illuminating the monitor screen. It tricks the sensors into over-saturating the screen with colors, in some instances as much as a million times. This overload eventually causes the screen to generate heat to dangerous levels. Pressure from gasses builds behind the glass, triggering an explosion of staggering proportions.

“Monitor screens are very strong, and it takes a tremendous amount of pressure to break one,” Enhood states. “This virus causes hot gasses to form directly behind the screen. By the time the screen explodes, the glass is almost hot enough to melt. But what happens instead is that the glass shards slice through facial muscles like a hot knife through butter. We’ve seen more than a few guys in the emergency ward looking like the Joker from Batman. And that’s no laughing matter,” Enhood sternly states.

To keep safe from this potentially deadly virus, people are being advised to wear safety protection in the form of welding helmets or Kevlar safety face-masks. Another technique is to point your monitor away from your face and position it so that you can view the reflection in a mirror. This will allow you to continue surfing without the risk of having it blow up directly in your face. Programmers are working on isolating and eliminating this virus, but WIP states that it may go underground after Halloween, lying in wait, only to return when the public least expects it.

*This article is presented as an exclusive Cheat Code Central feature titled “Are you dumb enough to believe this?” Please check back each Friday for the newest edition.

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