A number of years ago, it was widely reported that the Iraqi military acquired hundreds of PS2s for covert military operations. The central processing units of PS2s were considered extremely powerful and therefore very valuable to Iraqi scientists since trade sanctions prohibited countries from selling computers and other similar technologies to the warmongering nation. Now, new reports are surfacing that this information is not only erroneous, but was planted by the Iraqis themselves to cover up the real truth.
The PS2 is capable of generating 75 million polygons per second which makes them extremely useful in the development of 3D technologies. It can be used for a variety of military purposes including the development and deployment of sophisticated weapon systems, or the remote controlling of an unmanned aerial vehicle. Because the PS2 was categorized as a toy, it did not fall under the export restriction ban. Although there is no dispute that the Iraqi government ordered hundreds of the units, the most accepted explanation was that they were used for nefarious purposes – that is until now.
“There’s no truth to that old story at all,” says former Iraqi general Assad Asshead. “We used those PS2s to play games with. We were just embarrassed to tell anyone that and thought it would be cool if people around the world believed that we were using the CPUs to control unmanned aircrafts and scud missiles. The only weapons of mass destruction we were able to get our hands on was the REX from Metal Gear Solid,” Asshead adds.
“To think that the Iraqis would be tearing apart PS2s to recover the CPUs in order to make a super-computer is utterly ridiculous,” says Middle East expert Tom Foolery. “These people don’t even know enough to take the game disk out of the box. They would shove the entire package into the tray holder and end up breaking the PS2. That’s why they needed thousands of them. Not to mention that very few households have electricity, so they would run them off of their car and truck batteries which caused dangerous power surges. And I am talking about the Iraqi military here. I’ve watched as their so-called scientists blew into the controllers, licked the buttons with their tongue, and even prayed over them for hours in hopes of getting the system to work,” Foolery says.
Foolery also reports that he has seen other Iraqi soldiers visiting sites on the net such as Cheat Code Central in order to get cheat codes just to get out of the opening main menu of a game. “I mean, let’s face it,” Foolery continues, “We’re talking about people that think that Eddie Murphy and Billy Joel still have careers in the entertainment industry. There is no way they are using these machines for anything other than their intended purpose – and they can’t even do that properly. We should have started them off with tic-tac-toe and a flashlight,” he concludes.
*This article is presented as an exclusive Cheat Code Central feature titled “Are you dumb enough to believe this?” Please check back each Friday for the newest edition. | 