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As part of the new American healthcare bill, gamers that can provide evidence of being addicted to gaming will have their games supplied for free. There is a catch, however: addicts must agree to seek treatment for their affliction, but so far no cure has been proven safe and effective, so problem gamers may be playing free games for years to come. A section of the new healthcare plan addresses gaming as an addiction. It’s estimated that more than seven million people suffer from various gaming addictions. It results in low grades in schools and universities, low productivity in the workplace, and depleted finances due to the rising cost of games and related gaming accessories. In order to qualify for the program, gamers must provide affidavits from friends, family, teachers, or employers stating the applicant spends more than 50 hours a week playing games. Those that qualify will undergo a short psychiatric examination to determine the severity of their affliction. The government has agreed to step in to help with section 6-B/344 of the proposal. The first problem the bill will address is finances. Addicted gamers will receive full financial compensation for all past, present, and future games and gaming systems. They will also be compensated for any missed days from work. Some that have been fired due to their addiction will receive their former wage in full during the course of the treatment. It’s hoped this will relieve the stress of financial strain that causes gamers to become more withdrawn in their fantasy gaming world. Once this stressful cycle is broken, treatment can begin. Participants in the program must agree to play a specially-designed treatment game for one hour a day. This game requires a console system with various peripherals such as a helmet, goggles, and electrodes. The game works on the principal of negative reinforcement, delivering shocks and jabs instead of rewards such as bonus points, a new level, extra lives, and other unlockables. “What we are attempting to do is re-train the mind of the addict,” says Professor Von Kreigblitz. “After a while he or she will begin to associate winning at gaming with intense pain. Eventually, his or her motivation for playing will be destroyed, replaced with an uncontrollable urge to rejoin society as a productive, benevolent, and subservient member. Our success rate in tests has been a solid 100-percent, but we expect to see some fluctuations in the numbers, as we are now prohibited from injecting chemicals directly into the brain,” Von Kreigbliz admits sadly. It should also be noted that Section 33A of the Healthcare Act states that lying to the government in regard to any healthcare project is an offense punishable by death. *This article is presented as an exclusive Cheat Code Central feature titled “Are you dumb enough to believe this?” Please check back each Friday for the newest edition. |