Are You Stupid: International No-Gaming Day

Are You Stupid: International No-Gaming Day


President Obama is spearheading a campaign to make the second day of every January, International No-Gaming Day. He’s asking kids to promise him they will not play video games that day. It’s an idea that doesn’t seem too bad after some investigation.

Video games can be addicting, often taking kids captive mentally, physically, and emotionally from friends and family. It can be difficult to break the hold, but President Obama says he’s willing to try to take a small step in an effort to make kids aware of other opportunities the world has to offer.

Obama enjoys unprecedented popularity among the younger generation, and he intends to exploit that power. He will make a televised, close-circuit announcement to kids during school hours pleading with them to give up gaming for just one day. He will have the kids make a solemn vow to uphold their word and obey the edict of International No-Gaming Day every January 2nd.

“The beta-tested kids think this is a great idea,” says Larry Darry. “They think it’s cool to make a promise to the coolest president that ever lived. This will give them an opportunity to try different things such as play poker, go to the bar for a few drinks, and maybe pick up a hooker. These are things they’ve done virtually in games, now Obama is asking them to go out and try these things in real life,” Darry expounds earnestly.

“We think Larry Darry is taking this the wrong way,” says Martha Frimp of the Coalition of Mothers Against Lots of Things. “We agree with Obama, but we think the kids should just stay at home and read a book or go out somewhere with their family. Picking up hookers is not something we condone, unless we really need the money,” Frimp adds.

The gaming industry also agrees that a No-Gaming Day is a great idea. They claim the publicity is likely to revive low sales, and taking kids away from something they covet will only make them crave it more, citing extensive studies that prove their conclusions. As a result of International No-Gaming Day, video game publishers are planning on releasing blockbusters on January 3rd, to coincide with the end of the one-day gaming prohibition.

Obama says he’s trying, but if this fails, it won’t be anything new to him or his administration. He adds that if the voluntary prohibition doesn’t work this year he’s not above using military intervention.

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