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Video games have been deemed responsible for raising youths. Someone will have to pay. It’s no surprise that segments of an entire generation are, or have been, raised on video games. Used as an electronic babysitter by inattentive or busy parents, studies show that video games are creating greater bonds with kids than with the parents. Then it should come as no surprise that by proxy, game developers will be held responsible and accountable for the behavior of children addicted to their respective games. “Research shows that video games have a far greater effect on the mental development of children than that of music or television,” says social scientist Ward Tundra. “It’s due solely to the interactive nature of the games. Developing minds need interactivity, they crave it. All lifeforms need it for comfort and survival. Kids become emotionally attached to games if that’s the only form of psychological nurturing they receive,” explains Tundra. “Eventually they will act out these learned behavioral patterns, which as we all know can be extremely disturbing. I know I wouldn’t want my kid acting out scenes from Grand Theft Auto 3,” exclaimes Tundra. The Coalition of Concerned Kin, known as COCK, has lobbied the senate for the power to enforce new laws that would make developers liable for the influencing of young minds. In an effort to avoid heavy fines and even jail time for influencing young offenders raised on video games, developers are now creating more gentle, social conscious games. “There’s no doubt we are scared,” says game developer Sid Rawonion. “So me and the guys are creating new games such as Drink Your Milk, Clean Up Your Room, Homework is Fun, and Don’t Hit Mommy. Gone are the days of hookers being beaten and booze-fueled murderous rampages. The focus on games will be friendly, family, fun,” confesses Rawonion. “In other words, the video game industry will be going the way of the American economy. Which is to say the glory days are over. Lights out.” When asked for his response, former Cheat CC CEO Arty Hackery had this to say: “This whole thing is absolutely preposterous. There’s no way that kids are influenced by any form of electronic media. As a kid I was raised on Popeye cartoons. I broke both my legs and shattered my jaw jumping off the roof of the house after eating a can of spinach. So that just goes to prove that this all just a bunch of nonsense.” Hackery concludes. *This article is presented as an exclusive Cheat Code Central feature titled “Are you dumb enough to believe this?” Please check back each Friday for the newest edition. |