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Kuturagi reclaims position, renounces retirement*

Kuturagi reclaims position, renounces retirement*

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In what is sure to be the shortest retirement in the history of man, Kutaragi made a statement today saying that he was coming out of retirement to continue as CEO for SCEI. After just announcing that he would step down yesterday, Kutaragi apparently changed his mind and decided to continue in his position. The man known as the “Father of the PlayStation” made the following statement. “I don’t believe the time is right for my retirement. I believe that I should work a few extra years so that I will be in a good financial position to afford the PlayStation 4, which will be the biggest revolution to hit gaming since the original wheel,” That right, he said the frickin’ wheel.

He also went on to say, “The ideas that we have on the drawing board for the PlayStation 4 are already looking like a masterpiece, comparable to a DaVinci painting or a Shakespearean play. The PlayStation 4 will not only change the face of gaming, but of reality as we know it,”

An undisclosed source within Sony, however, disputes that Kutaragi simply changed his mind. “We need someone in place like Kutaragi because of his ability to simply create quotes that infuriate and astound gamers. We want Sony and PlayStation to stay in the headlines and his quotes keep us there. We just can’t let him go until we find someone who can come up with crazy quotes like Kutaragi,”

*This article is presented as an exclusive Cheat Code Central feature titled “Are you dumb enough to believe this?” Please check back each Friday for the newest edition.

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