Two Breasts Not Sexy Enough For You? Try Four!

Two Breasts Not Sexy Enough For You? Try Four!

Sony has a history of risky, over-sexualized advertising campaigns. And with the Vita still struggling to hit sales expectations, their latest creation isn’t surprising.

Well, I suppose that depends on your definition of “surprising.”

Last week, a leaked image of Sony’s latest Vita advertisement found its way onto the Internet. The ad, which was created for a French magazine, portrays a woman in a fashionable black evening gown—the kind that soap opera B-Listers are always wearing to afternoon award shows. However, in an M. Night Shyamalan twist, this woman’s evening gown sports an extra pair of cups, where her shoulder blades would normally be, to support her reverse-facing “snack trays.”

The caption, which was originally written in French, translates to “Touch both sides. Twice the sensations.”

Given the Vita’s front touchscreen and rear touch panel, the innuendo is pretty obvious here, but for those of you who are still having difficulty, send me an email. I’ll draw you a diagram.

Now, whether or not the Vita is as much fun as two sets of “ta-tas” remains to be seen. However, several parent and religious groups have decried the advert as unwholesome, which is true but misses the point; anyone who might be in the market for a PlayStation Vita isn’t looking for a wholesome experience. That’s what the LeapFrog handheld is for.

I do, however, understand the motivation to protect your children from any age-inappropriate imagery, but there are a few things that we need to remember:

First, this ad wasn’t meant for we sexually repressed Americans. Sony understands that the U.S. is far more conservative than any European country. This ad would have never run in an American magazine. The only reason we know about it is because the Internet exists.

And, as justified as it might feel to impose your own opinions about what is and is not appropriate (after all, it is the American way), judgmentalism is not our sexiest export.

Two Breasts Not Sexy Enough For You? Try Four!

Secondly, nobody was actually aroused by this ad. As far as I know, Sony isn’t developing a game that would allow players to fondle a woman’s “chesticles” via the Vita’s touch input (though, I’d like to add my name on that pre-order list, if possible). It’s a joke. Perhaps we should treat it like one.

Sony understands that the gaming market is made up primarily of heterosexual males between the ages of 15 and 40. And when that group of people isn’t playing video games, they’re thinking about boobs.

Actually, as video game ads go, this one is incredibly tame. NAMCO Bandai’s recent Dead or Alive advertisement was far more sexually charged and significantly less humorous. And every single GTA ad has been, well, a GTA ad, which should be pretty self explanatory.

None of these ads even bother me. What does bother me is the way that would-be complainers only really care about whatever happens to fall into their laps. They don’t go looking for sexual exploitation in order to stomp it out, they simply have a son who plays video games, or a husband who watches Game of Thrones . So those are the most convenient things to boycott.

In actuality, though, none of these things are hurting anyone. No one is being exploited. No one is being injured. And anyone who gets offended is quite simply a histrionic dillhole.

Can we all agree on that?

Josh Engen
Lead Contributor
Date: November 9, 2012

*The views expressed within this article are solely the opinion of the author and do not express the views held by Cheat Code Central.*

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