Are You Stupid: Toot-Tory-Alls

Are You Stupid: Toot-Tory-Alls


This is the new school, say goodbye to the old school.

Imagine reading Shakespeare while playing a video game. Image learning to speak a new language or play a musical instrument almost instantly. Or learn how to overhaul your car’s engine, or even become a lawyer, all while playing video games. Well, imagine no more. With Toot-Tory-Alls you’ll be able to learn anything by simply having fun playing games.

Toot-Tory-Alls is a high-powered instructional video games series developed by psychologist, scientists, mystics, and leading gaming developers. It’s designed to teach and train with maximum impact, by simply playing specially developed video games. No more draconian learning techniques such as lectures, studying, memorization, and cramming. With Toot-Tory-Alls the knowledge is automatically imparted into the player’s consciousness, almost subliminally. Toot-Tory-Alls gives you maximum results with minimum effort.

Studies show subjects learn faster, and with more retention when they are engaged on multiple levels such as sight, sound, and psychology. Each instructional tutorial immerses the player into the chosen field by incorporating various gameplay elements such as role-playing, strategy, puzzles, and point-and-click adventure. Some Toot-Tory-Alls, such as those involving musical instruments and mechanics, will come with peripheral tools-of-the-trade, including plastic replicas of guitars, saxophones, cookware, and various impact and power tools.

Head of Marketing, Jerry Heyho says before his company releases any Toot-Tory-Alls, it’s tested on staff member. If they don’t pass with flying colors, the game is completely overhauled, or the staff member is fired.

“You can’t teach an idiot anything, other than how to be more of an idiot,” Heyho states. “And that’s something we don’t teach here at Toot-Tory-Alls. We’re in the business of making geniuses. We’ve got one guy here, who after a few weeks of gaming is able to juggle flaming pumpkins on a unicycle while flying a helicopter in a dense fog and designing a website on a laptop in the passenger seat. So if one of our employees can’t speak fluent Mandarin in a couple of days, he’s out of here,” Heyho yells, gesturing wildly.

Toot-Tory-Alls will be available for the PS3, Xbox 360, and the PC. Less important courses such as management training, stem cell research, and serial killing made easy will be made available for the handhelds. Look for Toot-Tory-Alls wherever back-to-school products are sold.

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