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A study concludes kids that watch TV and play video game more than 1.5 hours a day display significant attention problems. Conducted by the Iowa State University, the study links attention disorders to poor grades, antisocial behavior, and low paying jobs. Attention deficit is the inability to stay focused on specific tasks for long periods. The subject is easily distracted and has trouble communicating, often showing signs of incoherence, rambling, and confusion. The university says kids with short attention spans do poorly in school, and many don’t attend university. The study goes on to explain these kids usually wind up in low-paying, dead-end jobs such as mechanics and law enforcement, or turn to a life of crime. Former Cheat CC CEO Arty Hackery responds to the report: “As a gaming site that deals with kids and gaming on a daily basis, I find these findings to be erroneous and grossly over-exaggerated. The staff at our site has been involved in the gaming industry for most of their lives, often playing games upwards to 16-hours a day. As the former CEO of Cheat CC, I can say with absolute certainty that staff members, such as Patricia, are extremely satisfied with their seven-bucks-an-hour, and she’s been able to afford a really nice, shiny red car, the name of which escapes me now…but I think it’s an old Ranchero, or something like that, which reminds me of a guy I went to school with who pronounced it, “Ranch-er-oo,” what an idiot! He was playing around in class one day, clamping the rusty rings of his old binder into his nostrils when it seized on him and his nose started to bleed. The teacher got mad, but she was really gorgeous, I remember that. I don’t think she’d be quite so nice looking anymore now that she’s dead. I wonder where it is that you go when you die? Instead of harps I want an electric guitar, although I’m sure you can get those in the other place. They probably have accordions in Hell, for punishment. I like that commercial where the guy says to the kid, “Egg management fee,” and he points his finger making a clicking sound with his mouth. It’s the nuance of his acting that makes it special. I wonder if he’ll get his own TV series, or at least be a judge on the next season of America’s Got Talent? How come they let people from Canada and Puerto Rica on that show? They’re not Americans. I don’t care what happens in other countries we don’t own. I heard recently that they’ve traced all our DNA back to a handful of tribes in Africa. That should end racism. Now, if you make fun of other races, you’re only making fun of yourself. But science has been wrong a few times. Remember Knight Rider? That didn’t happen, even though science said it did. You can’t believe everything you hear, see or read. I can’t stop staring at Patricia’s bum,” Hackery concludes. |