Wolf Blitzer to Star in Supercaster RPG?*

Wolf Blitzer to Star in Supercaster RPG?*


Did you ever wonder what it would be like to be world-renowned broadcaster, Wolf Blitzer? Well now thanks to Wolf Blitzer Supercaster – a new RPG with sim elements – your wish has been granted.

From such auspicious beginnings as a young child growing up in New York in the forties with a really embarrassing name, our hero was able to overcome many obstacles and finally change his name to something even more embarrassing. He’s Wolf Blitzer, and that’s all that counts. And now you’re Wolf Blitzer too, thanks to Wolf Blitzer Supercaster. See what it feels like to command the attention of the paranoid, the delusional and the rest of the ill-informed that comprise CNN’s audience.

“A lot of people don’t know that Wolf Blitzer played the professor on Gilligan’s Island,” says former CheatCC CEO Arty Hackery, “Personally I’ve always liked Mrs. Howell, but she’s dead and I’ve heard they can be hard to work with. I’ve always looked up to Wolf, even when his name was Dorf. I just thought he was so adorable with those tiny little legs, swinging all over the place,” Hackery chuckles. “I had the pleasure of going out for dinner a time ago with Wolf and his wife. I wasn’t sure what a wolf ate, but he never once complained eating his dinner from a plate with a knife and fork. Quite civilized actually,” Hackery adds.

Wolf Blitzer Supercaster chronicles Blitzer’s rise to fame, focusing on the Gulf War and O.J. Simpson trial broadcasts that catapulted his career into the stratosphere. These broadcasts were so popular they eventually had their own theme music, a historic first for any news event. When asked if he felt guilty riding on the crest of other people’s lows, Blitzer responded by saying that he cannot answer any questions. He claims he does not understand English, and only reads it phonetically on the air to look educated.

Shortly after his meteoric rise to fame, Blitzer was captured by aliens where he had probes shoved up his nose resulting in super-human powers. Upon his return to Earth, Blitzer soon discovered that he had the power to control the intellectually handicapped by mere voice inflections. By affecting a serious tone, Blitzer found he was able to instill fear in the typical fear-mongering redneck by simply reading numbers out of the phone book. This power did not go unnoticed by TV networks, and soon the Blitzer bidding war was on. This guy could make any piece of fluff sound newsworthy.

Throughout the game you will upgrade the authority and influence of your voice. It will help you to command people to do your bidding, as well as extract codes and other valuable information. The instant that you lighten-up by cracking a joke or laughing at a humorous situation, your credibility is totally destroyed and you’ll have to start the game over.

Wolf Blitzer Supercaster will be released later this summer. Keep an eye out for the upcoming Chuck Woolery game: Woolery in Cheap Clothing.

*This article is presented as an exclusive Cheat Code Central feature titled “Are you dumb enough to believe this?” Please check back each Friday for the newest edition.

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