New Cheat Code Centralizer on the Way*

New Cheat Code Centralizer on the Way*


Cheat Code Central is unveiling a revolutionary device that will allow users to apply cheat codes to devices other than video games. The Cheat Code Centralizer gives users the power to unlock and customize virtually any piece of electronic gear from MP3 players to computer-controlled industrial cranes. With the Cheat Code Centralizer, the future is in your hands.

Looking similar to a high tech dongle, the Centralizer is placed near the power source of any electronic device. Here it will detect the codes programmed into the command system and offer option variants that will let you program the device to your specific tastes. You can program your TV set to play music videos in place of commercials. Get rid of all your remotes and use the Centralizer to control everything in your house from the comfort of your sofa. Have your iron turn off after 15 minutes of nonuse. Use your microwave oven to heat your home. The possibilities are unlimited.

“The Centralizer is an incredibly complex and sophisticated piece of equipment,” says company spokesperson and former CCC CEO Arty Hackery, “It was developed by Israeli Intelligence for hacking into computers and other devices in an effort to track down terrorists. We now own the North American patent rights to this amazing invention and we want to share it with this part of the world for fun and profit,” he adds.

Furdy Tuckmein of Future Store claims that a device like this is incredibly dangerous and potentially illegal. “It allows people to gain access to devices and programs that they don’t own. With this device people can hack into other people’s computers. They can steal cable, satellite TV, Pay-Per View events, songs off the internet, and even start vehicles without an ignition key. In my opinion, the Centralizer is a free ticket to the world.”

When asked to comment on that statement, Hackery adds, “We couldn’t have said it better. Sure it does all of that, but we can’t legally promote it like that. There are legal issues to be sure. But when other people talk about it, then it’s out of our hands. You can’t buy that kind of promotion. Who wouldn’t want free cable, internet, long distance calls and the occasional free car? We feel we’ve been locked out of these things for too long. The only thing standing between us and what we want is a damn code, and as you know we here at Cheat Code Central are always doing what we can to break down those code barriers,” he adds.

We asked Hackery if the Centralizer would eventually put Cheat Code Central out of business since owners would no longer require cheat codes for video games. He replied that as long as he was getting free cable, internet and cars he didn’t really need the job. He also added the he doesn’t actually work at Cheat Code Central anyway.

*This article is presented as an exclusive Cheat Code Central feature titled “Are you dumb enough to believe this?” Please check back each Friday for the newest edition.

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