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Are you tired of Xbox Live fees and PlayStation Network shutdowns? Well, we have you covered. Former Cheat CC CEO Arty Hackery has stepped up to the gaming plate with Hackery’s Online Extravaganza. He’s offering free online gaming for everyone, regardless of your system. He says you don’t even have to have a system, just an internet connection and access to your parents’ credit card. “I saw a niche and I exploited it with HOE,” Hackery says. “People are looking for a great online gaming experience, and I’m going to offer it to them. It’s not only fun, but it’s free. And it’s educationish. That’s a cross between educational and nutritionish.” “When people come to HOE, they can expect the absolute best in classic gaming,” an exuberant Hackery exclaims. “We will have Bingo, Crazy Eights, Tic Tac Toe, War, and something naughty for the kids. I keep costs down by hiring hobos to work the site. I don’t really pay them, we have more of a threat thing worked out. But I wouldn’t hit them with a stick with a nail in it, or anything like that.” Hackery points out that hobos are not to be confused with zombies. He admits they wear tattered clothes, walk funny, will kill you for food, and in many ways are thought of as mythical creatures. After an awkward, but seemingly contemplative silence, Hackery says maybe they are like zombie-in-laws. “Before I developed this site, there was a lot of planning and research between me and the hobos,” claims Hackery. “So we decided on these great games. I didn’t think the gambling and drinking games were appropriate, but the hobos told me I should include them. I must admit, it’s a bit frightening having a mob of disgruntled hobos in the workplace. So that’s why we’re offering gambling, drinking, and even strip poker games.” “You look at games like Crash Bandicoot, Pac-Man, Space Invaders, and Kirby. Where are they now?” Hackery asks. “But games like Bingo and Tic Tac Toe are still around, and will be forever. We’re offering the best of the best. And I know I said earlier that this site was free, but that was a lie. Of course there has to be a fee. Hobos have to smoke and drink booze. Legally, we have to offer the site for free, but if you don’t want a hobo to track your IP address and come to your house, you may want to pay the monthly fee.” Hackery claims HOE has three subscribers to date, and he’s looking to double that number by the end of the month. “Hobos need cigars and whisky to survive,” says Hackery. “So don’t kill a hobo, or worse, have one show up at your house. Sign up today.” |