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Talk about rebranding. Cute, loveable, M&M-like, cuddly Kirby is being transformed into the ultimate horrific entity. Kirby: The Über-Antichrist Returns to Scream Land is not a game for children. The press release claims it’s a game for psychopaths, Satan worshipers, serial killers, and the criminally insane. Sounds like a lot of fun. Kirby: The Über-Antichrist Returns to Scream Land is a morbid, dark, violent, disturbing, and hilarious game. It begins with Kirby being kicked just one too many times during a round of Super Smash Bros. His innocence lost, Kirby unleashes a terrifying inner demon that lay dormant beneath his childish exterior. Apparently, it’s a rite of passage for inhabitants of the planet Pop Star. Kirby’s murderous rage knows no bounds. Many players will simply look away when Kirby enters an orphanage while dual-wielding chainsaws. And that’s one of the lighter moments. In Returns to Scream Land, Kirby is the merciless über-Antichrist from another world. His entire being consumed by death and destruction, he’s not content to merely murder his victims; he must torture and butcher them before consuming their mutilated bodies. Kirby also enjoys performing Barbara Streisand tunes. “It’s the next logical step in the evolution of Kirby,” says Kirby co-creator Melvin Oddnee. “If things get too cute, there’s nowhere else for them to go. Look at Mel Gibson, for instance. He went from loveable pretty boy to violent out-of-control drunken racist in seven drinks. That’s a remarkable rebranding, and we’re basically doing the same with Kirby. He’s getting an image overhaul, though we don’t want him to become as loathsome as Gibson. Some people may be horrified at this change, but it’s not like he didn’t kill people in his classic games. Kirby would roast people to death with his firepower, or even eat them whole. That’s sick. But apparently nobody had any objections to that. In Returns to Scream Land we just take a deeper look into his twisted psyche.” “I loved Kirby just the way he was,” says former Cheat Code Central CEO Arty Hackery. “I must admit, this game scared me. I almost cried. And I’m not afraid to admit that, since I was on a conference call at the time and everyone knows anyway. Still, it was an interesting feeling to make Kirby suction peoples’ heads clean off their necks. It gave me a tingling feeling all over, but I did have to wash my hands afterward.” By Cole Smith |