Gaming Goes Green*

Gaming Goes Green*


Green Gaming is an eco-friendly invention aimed at lowering or completely eliminating the need for plastics and papers in the manufacturing of video games. Game disks are now being made out of organic plant matter. The disks work exactly like a regular DVD but with many more benefits.

The first thing you’ll notice with Green Gaming disks is that they are green. This is due to the natural occurring chlorophyll in plant matter. The disks are a composite of compressed beans, corn, lettuce, ferns, and beets to name a few vegetables used in the process. These disks will be cheaper to manufacture and will seriously reduce the carbon footprint left by the gaming industry; a trendy new bandwagon companies are jumping on.

Aside from the positive ecological impact the Green Gaming disks represent, there are a few fun benefits consumers will realize immediately. The disks are recyclable. Each disk contains seeds, and can be planted to yield a special vegetable that can be used to unlock new levels to the original game; similar to an expansion pack. Consumers can also eat the games by first heating them in an oven at 400-degrees to dissolve the bonding agent. Ingesting games internally, consumers will be able to turn terrible games into what they really think of them, and then use it as fertilizer. Another trend will be localized multiplayer matches known as Beat and Eat, where the loser will have his copy of a game eaten by the winners. The inventors recommend salsa as a condiment to bring out the true flavor of the disk. Another social activity is called the “Lettuce Turnip and Pea.” The exact nature of the activity is vague, but the general idea suggested in the title leads us to a few conclusions.

Green Gaming disks will feature some of the biggest titles in the industry, not just your garden variety games. Games from the past, present, and future will be released on the green disks, so expect to see many characters coming out of the woodwork such as Crash, Sonic, Mario, Link, and John 117.

Former CheatCC CEO, Arty Hackery, says that while this may seem all “hippy and hashpipe” on the surface, we should be aware of a darker, sinister element.

“It seems that every time I read about a new product, somebody comes along and objects to it,” Hackery says. “Well this time I want to be the first. I’m not really sure what’s wrong with this green stuff, but I’m sure there is something. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from reading these articles, it’s that you should attack anything new, regardless of what you know about it. In fact, the less you know about something the more you should attack it. That’s the American way,” Hackery adds. “If we start to act totally responsibly and really take care of this planet, a lot of people are going to be out of jobs. And frankly, I hear those people up in Canada are really enjoying this global warming,” chuckles Hackery.

*This article is presented as an exclusive Cheat Code Central feature titled “Are you dumb enough to believe this?” Please check back each Friday for the newest edition.

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