Fluster Cluck and Share Play Scarred My PS4

Fluster Cluck and Share Play Scarred My PS4

“Let’s try out Share Play!”

It’s those five words that doomed me. Simple, innocuous, and innocent, an invitation from a beloved was my undoing. I would have thrown myself at this man’s feet, prior to what happened this weekend. Had he not subjected me to what amounts to torture and stolen my PS4’s innocence, I would probably be at a dollar store, buying notebooks so I could see how his last name looks with my first name on the cover.

We were wrapping up a round of TowerFall Ascension when he made a suggestion. “I downloaded The Binding of Isaac: Rebirth . Want to watch me beat it?” As someone who has never gotten the knack of that particular game, I was intrigued and readily agreed. Let us switch games, and make the most of our Share Play experience.

I was betrayed.

The screen went to a generic message as my cohort, who I formerly adored, made the arrangements. When it returned, things didn’t seem right. I thought Nicalis published The Binding of Isaac: Rebirth ? Who is LOOT Entertainment?

It hit me.

“I bet you didn’t think this would come back to get you.”

Chilling words, to be sure.  I had coerced him into acquiring it weeks before. I thought he had forgotten. He obviously hadn’t.

I recoiled at the site of the aliens in UFOs on the screen. Yet, I stayed. People do strange things for love, and I suppose one of them is remaining in a Share Play session with someone even if they bring up Fluster Cluck . It was terrible. The controls were shameful. It felt floaty. The AI was clearly unbalanced. It was difficult to find objectives.

At one point, I had to ask, “Is it supposed to look this bad? Or is it lag?” The response? “It looks this bad.” The experience was excruciating. When the match finally ended, I was in third place, despite not really doing anything. My foe, the man I formerly coveted, was in fourth. A small consolation, but still not enough to undo the last five minutes of my life.

He attempted to make amends with a few rounds of Sportsfriends . It was an effort, and I thought perhaps we could heal. Maybe he still could be the man of my dreams.

That hope is gone. The next time I turned on my PS4, I saw this.

Fluster Cluck and Share Play Scarred My PS4

My console is tainted. This is not a badge of courage. Rather, it is a grevious scar. If my system had a soul, it would be blackened. Despite the fact that I don’t own Fluster Cluck and never will, my PS4 remembers. It knows what it was forced to endure and won’t let me forget it. There is a mark. Hands are unclean.

“Look what you hath wrought!” I shouted at my potential beloved via Facebook messages.

“I didn’t wrought that!” He replied.

An unintentional side effect of Share Play, to be sure, but a devastating one.

I still Share Play with this man. Despite everything, I adore him. How could I not take part in epic gaming sessions? But, this mark remains and won’t let me forget. As long as Fluster Cluck squats on my PS4’s home screen, this wound can not heal.

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