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It’s the game where the least you do, the more you win. If you want to be the Bum King, you’ve got to expend the least amount of energy to get through the day. Eat, sleep, go to the bathroom, and entertain yourself, that’s all you’ve got to do, but don’t overdo it. There are tricks to being a bum, and when you learn to apply them properly, you could earn the title of Bum King. Developed by Stogie Games, Bum King puts you in the role of an aspiring bum. At the outset, you realize that being a bum is hard work; that is until you watch the professionals in action. Live and learn. Catch on to some of the tricks and soon you’ll be living the life of lowdown leisure. If you’re working too hard to get your daily staples, the meter will start to beep until you take it down a few notches. A series of mini-games is included for you to earn extra points and improve your bum’s morale. Some of the mini-games include: rummaging through garbage bins for accessories to complement your ensemble; peeing into a bottle while shaking from a hangover; keeping used cigar butts lit in the rain; mooching enough liquor to get a buzz; and other favorites such as Bums’ Rush and Dash-and-Dine. “Our organization thinks this game is an absolute outrage,” says Margaret Bissfuster of the Society for the Homeless, “It does nothing but degrade the homeless and mentally ill, a segment of our population that needs our help not our contempt. The developers should be ashamed of themselves for creating this trash,” Bissfuster screams. “Mrs. Bissfuster has her head up her bum,” laughs Larry Proctolick, president of Stogie Games. “Bums are not crazy, they’re homeless by choice. Bums are crafty, sly, and lazy. They have a certain love for life that precludes them from becoming slaves to society. They don’t want to work! They don’t want the responsibilities of a house, mortgage, and taxes. They get what they need to survive and that’s that. They are the ultimate urban survivalists, and we’re just trying to make people aware of their talents,” Proctolick explains. “People often confuse bums with hobos,” Proctolick continues, “but hobos are actually migrant workers. These guys would hop a boxcar in hopes of finding work in another town. Bums are just lazy. They are even too lazy to beg, so they shouldn’t be considered beggars either. They are selfish, contributing nothing to society; but they are charming and funny. We think the Bum King is a very educational game. It will teach people about the history of bums while teaching players how to live by their wits. We tried to get some bums to beta test this game for authenticity, but they said it was too much work. You’ve got to love these rascals,” Proctolick chuckles. *This article is presented as an exclusive Cheat Code Central feature titled “Are you dumb enough to believe this?” Please check back each Friday for the newest edition. |