Gamers often get a bad rap, both in the press and amongst each other. There’s a good reason for that – we’ve got innumerable trolls, griefers, rage-quitters, multiplayer cheaters, bigots, and other unpleasant people who seem to have a profound misunderstanding of the concept of “fun” running around in our games and communities. And those bad elements of our community have found ways to band together and make life miserable for others via social media, gaining a lot of media and staining the reputation of all game fans in the process.
Still, so many gaming communities are awesome places to be, and that’s because of the efforts of inclusive, giving people who make things better for all of us. One of those people, Sony employee Alex Nawabi, made the news recently when he spent his own, off-the-job time to design a custom PS4 controller for a stranger with cerebral palsy. That kind of generosity isn’t uncommon in gaming circles, either. I’m part of a game forum in which people from around the world are surprisingly generous with each other on a daily basis, simply because they enjoy sharing the joy of our hobby with other people.
The desire to share that joy is the first of several things that make a game community a great place to be. Awesome gamers believe in having fun and sharing that fun with others regardless of winning or losing. They don’t “gatekeep,” making up all sorts of rules that determine whether somebody else is a “real” gamer. They understand that everybody was new to gaming at some point, and that it’s ok if you weren’t born with a controller in your hands. These folks don’t say, “Eww, you haven’t played the Halo 2 ? You’re not a gamer!” They say, “Hey, have you played Halo 2 ? It’s really great, and here’s why you might like it!” And even if their conversation partner doesn’t share their love of shooters, that’s ok. Perhaps they can bond over a love of an old RPG or a particularly addictive smartphone game instead.
Being inclusive rather than exclusive is important when it comes to people’s real life appearances, too. Mr. Nawabi understood this when he took time to help a person with a disability be better able to enjoy the games he loves. In fact, all the best gaming communities I’ve been a part of have included people of all genders, races, sexual orientations, and physical abilities. In my experience, diverse gaming communities are better at teamwork, problem-solving, and at overcoming obstacles to success than communities that are insular or allow bigotry to go unchecked – making them more successful in multiplayer games in the long term. They’re also better at organizing community gaming events that are “just for fun,” letting everybody take a break from competitive play and just have a good time getting to know each other.
Finally, being generous and caring about things outside gaming is the last big thing that makes a gaming community great. There are a ton of gamer-run charities out there that raise money for things like children’s hospitals or Oxfam. That’s a great way to combine our hobby with something that helps the world around us. It’s also important for all of us gamers to develop strong interests beyond gaming. It helps give us more perspective and protects us from getting too wrapped up in the many gaming micro-dramas that really aren’t a big deal in the grand scheme of things. That’s right, defining yourself as more than just a gamer actually makes you a better member of the gaming community! Some of my most treasured gaming memories come from things outside the game, like the time one of my WoW raids was put on hold because our healer’s (real-life) goat started giving birth, or the various post-gaming-con dinners I’ve spent with friends new and old. That’s why I always try to have a life outside gaming even though I game both for a living and for fun.
There might be a lot of angry, mean-spirited gamers making a lot of noise right now, but I know that the real heart of gaming is made up of fun-loving communities that treat others with respect. I’ve had the great pleasure of being a part of many of these types of communities, both online and off, and it’s worth the work that it takes to keep them free of the kind of negativity and hate that just drags everybody down. The great news is that it’s not that difficult to be a part of a wonderful gaming community – just look for one that’s inclusive, giving, and understands that we all have lives beyond gaming – and then strive to cultivate those qualities in yourself. Let the toxic gamers howl in the desert – the rest of us are having too much fun enjoying each other’s company and gaming on.