The Weekly Rant – Anime

The Weekly Rant – Anime


Anime has permeated all visual mediums including movies, TV, video games, and print. You can see it in magazines, comics, and consumer goods. Anime is a Japanese creation, and it has an incredibly loyal fan base. But let’s face it: it’s no more artistic than watching the same table and lamp scroll in the background when Fred Flintstone is chasing Dino in his house.

In a recent review I commented, “amine” is Japanese for “crappy cartoon.” There’s no point even arguing with me on that. I know it’s bad, you know it’s bad, even your great, great grandmother who grew up watching silent, black and white movies knows it’s bad. Just so we’re on the same page, I am talking about the actual animation, or lack thereof, not the static drawings. There needs to be a distinction between such drawings and animation. Anime artists draw no such distinction. I wish distinguished artists would not draw anime.

The anime style is perfect for manga, (comic books). But if you’re going to make a cartoon (and I am referring to an animated cartoon), then animate it properly. People will defend anime as an artform, but it’s a style that’s being abused and exploited by production companies looking to cut corners. Plain and simple. Watch a Warner Bros cartoon, and tell me I’m wrong. I want to see a cartoon move smoothly; I don’t want to watch a comic book being filmed and passed off as animation.

It’s the lazy production companies that hide behind the “tradition” of anime, as though it’s so historically and culturally iconic that it’s beyond reproach. Anime, in this way, is a cheap and easy way to make a buck. A character can go from crying to madness in one frame. For added effect, a zoom is done on the drawing, and a few rays emanating from his head are animated, to really drive home the intensity of his anger. During an explosion, they’ll shake the camera. It’s easier than animating the characters and scenery.

And let’s not forget how eccentrically dramatic these characters are. Emotions are as subtle as primary colors. The characters are absolutely manic. They laugh, cry, rage, and cower; indulging each emotion with such embarrassing enthusiasm it makes Dane Cook appear genuine.

And in case you didn’t notice, the Japanese are making fun of Caucasians by imbuing their anime characters with oversized eyes. It’s a veiled response to being called “slant eyes,” as they refer to westerners as “round eyes.”

Anime is even dangerous. The cheesy strobe effects of a Pokemon cartoon triggered epileptic seizures in some children. Word.

Anime is cheap, dangerous, and insulting. Just like me. Get out of here!

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