Best Dates For New Year’s Eve
Best Dates For New Year’s Eve
As we grow older, our New Year’s Eve plans grow progressively lamer. We married folks often spend the night around the house with loved ones, watching TV and eating snacks. You young whippersnappers are probably throwing wild parties with Magic tournaments and cosplay and everything.
But video games give us all a way to escape, and tonight is no exception. Herewith, the top ten video-game characters—five ladies and five guys—who would make great New Year’s Eve dates.
Faith (Mirror’s Edge)
This woman flouts the law, climbs pipes for the thrill of it, and is willing to engage in lethal combat whenever necessary. Can there be any doubt she knows how to party?
Lara Croft (Tomb Raider)
Worldly, educated, adventurous, improbably proportioned, and capable of beating the daylights out of any man—just what every strapping young lad is looking for as he rings in the New Year.
As if her fighting skills and looks weren’t enough, Bayonetta is always ready with a quick put-down for any man who tries to get the best of her. And who knows what kind of party dress her hair will twist itself into.
Miranda Lawson (Mass Effect)
This lady was genetically engineered to be attractive as possible, and she spends a lot of time being lonely in outer space. An ideal candidate for a night of friendly companionship.
Some guy across the bar talking smack about your girl? A sexist might think it’s your responsibility as a man to do something about that. But if you picked up your date from SoulCalibur, she’ll be more than happy to draw her sword from her skimpy outfit and defend her own honor. Equality!
Luis Fernando Lopez (Grand Theft Auto IV: The Ballad of Gay Tony)
Wanna go dancing? Mr. Lopez might look pretty awkward out there, but he’ll get the hang of it by the time it’s 2013.
Mario (Super Mario Bros.)
Every woman wants to be a princess, and Mario is more than willing to make you feel like one. After all these years chasing Ms. Peach, he has to be ready to spend time with a lady who isn’t constantly getting kidnapped. Downside: He’ll need to shower up before the party, after all that time in the sewer.
Gordon Freeman (Half-Life)
He’s a brilliant scientist, a battle-tested hero, and even the strong, silent type. After what he’s been through, I bet he can’t wait to get crunk as 2012 comes to a close.
Solid Snake (Metal Gear Solid)
Okay, so Mr. Snake may not have the seductive spy powers of James Bond, or even Austin Powers, for that matter. But he’ll be great when it comes time to sneak off to the coatroom undetected, and boy does he have stories to tell you (but then he’ll have to kill you).
Ezio (Assassin’s Creed)
A true ladies’ man, Ezio loves women almost as much as he loves himself. Between his Italian good looks and his willingness to sacrifice for those he holds dear, this guy’s a real catch—if you can catch him.
Date: December 31, 2012
*The views expressed within this article are solely the opinion of the author and do not express the views held by Cheat Code Central.*