Heckler & Jeckle Game to Improve Your Comebacks!*

Did you ever have somebody say something rude to you only to clam up and say nothing, or worse yet, something so lame you wished you had not said it at all? Then you’re not alone. Heckler & Jeckle is a new game designed to train you to deliver the perfect comeback in virtually any situation.

Created in conjunction with the developers of Brain Age, Heckler & Jeckle is actually a sophisticated software program that will teach and train users to defend themselves verbally, while getting a lot of laughs in the process. With extensive research and input from behavioural psychologists, the game puts you in a variety of real-life situations where you might encounter a heckler. You can create your own zingers or select from a variety of options. The faster, funnier, and more relevant the putdown, the greater your score will be. After a few hours of practice, you’ll be loaded with enough wisecracks to do battle with even the most wily of wordsmiths.

“We are trying something new with this game,” says executive of Creative D Signs, Len Longone. “It’s a cerebral form of violence. It’s even nastier than physical violence because the psychological scars can last a lifetime. This is a way to get back at these linguistic losers and put them in their place once and for all. There’s nothing like being equipped with zingers for every occasion. People testing the game can’t thank me enough. At least I think they are thanking me,” says Longone.

Here’s how the game works. You play as Jeckle. He performs a variety of tasks in a variety of situations such as Wal-Mart greeter, mime, art critic, bingo caller, cop, bouncer, nude waiter, schoolteacher, and honour roll student just to name a few. As you go about your duties you will eventually encounter a heckler that shouts something rude at you. In virtually all cases you will be surrounded by an audience. This requires that your retort be quick witted and scathing. At first you will have to submit your own answer into the microphone where it will be processed and judged by the CPU using a complex algorithm system that takes into account hundreds of professional opinions including doctors, bullies, and comedians.

Your answer will result in one of three reactions: Wild laugher and applause, weak groans from the crowd, or dead silence. You will definitely want to get the first reaction as it will stop the aural assailant in his tracks and make you the hero. The second reaction is not strong enough to stop the heckler so he’ll continue to throw insults at you until you hit him hard with an A-plus zinger. Dead silence is what you want to avoid. That means that your answer was so inane that the audience is embarrassed for you. Some will even start to help the bully insult you after such a weak-sauce comeback.

But after suffering such shame, the in-game tutorial will give you a variety of zingers to choose from. These can be used for future reference, but they also help stimulate the creative parts of your temporal lobe so that in time you will begin to generate your own witty responses spontaneously. In time your mouth will become a lethal weapon.

Some of Len Longone’s favorite zingers include:

Heckler: “Hey your fly is open!”
Jeckle: “So is your mouth; coincidence?”

Heckler: “That shirt is stupid looking.”
Jeckle: “I can take it off, but you’ll still be fat.”

Heckler: “When you were born the doctor slapped your mother.”
Jeckle: “After you were born they legalized abortion.”

*This article is presented as an exclusive Cheat Code Central feature titled “Are you dumb enough to believe this?” Please check back each Friday for the newest edition.