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Developer ImageSoft’s answer to the popular Brain Age game is Brain Dead, the game that doesn’t measure how smart you are, but how stupid you are. If you’ve ever been intimidated by an IQ test, Brain Dead promises to relieve you of your anxiety. Brain Dead simply lets you be you, regardless of your level of unintelligence. There’s no need to worry, just play along and the game will automatically assess the degree of your inability to function properly in the real world. There’s no studying, no practicing, no drills. Once the game tells you how stupid you are, that’s all there is to it. According to research it’s virtually impossible to increase your score since it’s based on a biological level of stupidity. So relax, and wallow in your stupidity. You earned it. “The general gist of Brain Dead is to show people that they really aren’t very smart at all,” says developer Benny Droup. “It really takes a lot of pressure off people when they realize that the reason they’re having so much trouble in life is simply because they’re a moron. This knowledge can literally change lives. Many people cite the score they receive in Brain Dead to excuse themselves from challenging situations at work, home and at play. They wave the printout like a badge of honor. It gets them off the hook from just about everything including speeding tickets, leaving the stove on, being late, using the wrong words in sentences, and not remembering phone numbers or people’s names even though they were told the name five seconds earlier,” Droup exclaims. “We think too much emphasis is placed on being smart, and frankly, I can tell you that if you’re reading this, you’re not smart. That’s speaking statistically mind you,” Droup concludes. Players of Brain Dead will be presented with a series of scenarios. They will receive instructions and a brief tutorial that will give an overview of the discipline. As an example, in one test you’ll be expected to act as a carpenter’s apprentice. You’ll be instructed on how to use a measuring tape and how to safely use power tools. Then you will be presented with an assortment of situations where you will have to choose the correct answers. Eventually you’ll use the wrong tool for the job, resulting in a severed limb or possibly a death. How long it takes to get to that point will determine just how stupid you are. But don’t worry, you will get there because you are stupid. Keep in mind this scenario does not mean that you suck at carpentry, it really means you suck at paying attention to the instructions. Other disciplines involving cooking, barbering, flying, handling nuclear material, and reading a book while holding a lit stick of dynamite. So remember, you are stupid, we know that, so let Brain Dead prove it. Coming to stores this summer. *This article is presented as an exclusive Cheat Code Central feature titled “Are you dumb enough to believe this?” Please check back each Friday for the newest edition. |