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Game your way into a guest appearance on Jersey Shore. You could become a regular cast member. It’s the offer of a lifetime. Sony is sponsoring the new season of Jersey Shore, and as a promotional tie-in they are highlighting the PSP and PS3 on the show, along with the premiere of Jersey Shore: The Online Video Game Thing. The cast will have to compete against various online gamers from around the world, and that gamer could be you. Contestants are chosen at random, as long as they are playing the new Jersey Shore: The Online Video Game Thing. Four contestants will be chosen each episode, with their faces appearing onscreen for one full minute. That’s enough to make you a star in your own city. Snooki, the Situation, Pauly D, and all the rest will vote on the gamer they think has the most personality. This person will appear online for the first few episodes and eventually flown on location where he or she will become a regular cast member. So don’t hesitate to act outrageous. Just don’t get smart—literally. The cast doesn’t want to appear stupid. So Sony has devised the JSIQS Test (Jersey Shore IQ System Test). Before you can play Jersey Shore: The Online Video Game Thing, you will have to pass the JSIQS Test—or perhaps “fail” would be a better term. Confronted with various puzzles, questions, and choices, your responses will be gauged, and it will be determined if you are “qualified” to play the contestant version. Remember, the only way you can be on the show is to be playing the game online during broadcasts of the series, including repeats. If you know that New York is the capitol of New York, you may be qualified. However, if you believe the capitol of Washington is Washington D.C, you are also qualified. If you know anything about geometry, physics, history, philosophy, psychology, literature, grammar, fashion, or taste, you may find yourself disqualified instantly. Jersey Shore: The Online Video Game Thing is a free download, so even if you are disqualified, it won’t cost you anything. In fact, you can still play along and win amazing prizes like Orange Tan Juice, Horse Semen Hair Gel, and sunglasses from the Roy Orbison Collection. The ultimate winner will have to fail a skill-testing question, be able to drink a quart of hard liquor in two hours, projectile vomit, subsist on Pop Tarts and potato chips, and watch Scooby Doo with the laugh track removed and indicate the funny parts. Once the winner has been announced, he or she will win a permanent spot on Jersey Shore. They will also be issued an official apology from Sony Entertainment. By Cole Smith |