Nintendo Recalls All Wii-motes After Class-Action Lawsuit by Thompson*

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As we reported earlier this week, gamers have been complaining about unexpected problems concerning the Wii-mote. One of the problems frequently aggravating players is a flimsy wrist strap that allows the controller to fly aimlessly through the air if the player loses his grip.

Reports around the country tell of broken wii-motes, cracked TVs and windows, and now human injury.

While playing Wii Baseball, a twelve-year old in Michigan swung a bit too hard. The wii-mote flew out of his hands and into his grandmother’s eye. The eighty-nine year-old woman was rushed to the hospital where she was treated for a black eye.

Catching wind of the case, Jack Thompson has coerced the woman to start a class-action lawsuit against Nintendo. “As evidence has proven since the days of Pong, video games kill and this elderly woman’s injury by her seemingly innocent grandson just proves that video game companies are determined to turn all children into killers,” Thompson claimed. “Nintendo claims it is family friendly, but this injury is sure to be the first of millions that can be traced to the new Wii console.”

Nintendo is currently recalling all wii-motes until they can create more secure wrist straps. Insiders at Nintendo have stated that the new wrist strap technology will be similar to prison handcuffs.

*This article is presented as an exclusive, new Cheat Code Central feature titled “Are you dumb enough to believe this?” Please check back each Friday for the newest edition.