Alright, folks. This next joint is a bit anecdotal but I think what I’m about to say is worth your consideration, not because it’s profound or well-researched, but because it probably hits close to home for many of you.
First of all, let’s all take a second to reflect back on when high-speed online gaming came to home consoles and what a huge impact it has made. The PS2 (heck, even the Dreamcast) had a broadband adapter, but it wasn’t until Microsoft’s first Xbox that online multiplayer really took off with the introduction of Xbox Live. I got the Xbox Live starter kit the day it came out which was, as hard as it may be to believe, over 13 years ago. That was a day I’ll never forget. Everything in that sleek, fire-orange packaging seemed so futuristic; as if I’d never seen a headset before. I remember getting my account set up and loading up the online demo of MotoGP and having my mind blown. I could not believe that the game was running so smoothly, with no lag, as I raced against and spoke with people from all around the world.
Anonymity was still widely preserved, even among those who played together frequently, and I remember using one of the many voice masks Microsoft offered to make my voice low and warped, like the stereotypical murderer you hear on the other end of the phone on a soap opera. Over my 13-year tenure on Xbox Live (and eventually PSN) I’ve accumulated a sizable friends list, full of like-minded gamers and hobbyists with whom I’ve enjoyed countless hours of multiplayer goodness, both cooperative and competitive. Some of these friends I’ve gotten to know on a personal level and I talk to them when the console is powered down, but the vast majority of them only exist within the games that we play together.
Online multiplayer really did change console gaming for the better, and there’s no going back; human beings are social creatures, and games are by their nature interactive exercises. The fact that I can spend a few hours every day engaging with real people as we work and play together in fantastic game worlds is amazing and dangerous. Amazing because our avatars and our objectives provide a common ground for communication that is very rarely enjoyed in the early stages of getting to know someone in real life; dangerous for that very same reason.
Cultivating friendship is an art that requires your full person, and not just your personality. Being pulled into a tight hug by a buddy you haven’t seen in a long time; the look in their eye when you part ways that says “I’ll miss you;” these things can’t be replicated online. My wife and I moved to a new state after getting married in June, and neither of us has had time to make any friends. I’ve been the less lonely for it because I’ve been playing online games and thinking that was all the social interaction that I needed, but after a recent vacation whereon we met some kind new people and spent time with family, we recognized with alarm how much both of us had been missing the challenge and life that human interaction offers.
For introverted people like me, meeting new people in the real world can be a life-draining task at the outset, and a task that I’ve typically avoided whenever I could. My version of hell is a never ending first day of school filled with nothing but introductory classes where we go around in a circle and say our names and three interesting things about ourselves. I’d wager a lot of you are like me in that regard, and if you are, I’d bet that some of your most emotionally lucrative seasons of growth have occurred during times where you were forced to become more sociable; more confident. Try not to forget that. Your online friends really can be friends, but your online social life really can’t be your social life. Get out there and meet someone new this weekend. If anxiety or body-image obsession is prohibitive, I have found that a single Long Island Iced Tea can make you feel more dashing than a thick, waxed mustache.