In the land of “everyone needs to be offended by something,” Twitter has blown up again over something absolutely, positively, and minutely stupid. PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds had a female character model for a hot minute that showed off her nether regions more definitively than before. Just in case I’m being too subtle here, the female character model in PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds had some camel toe going on. Take a moment to let that sink in, and then remember the Twitter blow-up I mentioned already. Yes. The vast majority of Twitter freaked the hell out because you could see an animated camel toe in a video game. Stop the presses, hold everything, and put this on your front page.
If you didn’t already catch my drift, I could absolutely care less about a camel toe in PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds . I have a hundred and one reasons for not giving a monkey’s behind about the visible vagina outline, but let’s go over just a few. First off, PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds is about surviving above all else. In keeping with that manner of thinking, your player should probably, I don’t know, put some clothes on! Boom, problem solved. Some pants or shorts later, and you wouldn’t even know the camel toe was there. The Internet can drop their misplaced torches/pitchforks and move on with their lives.
Secondly, who the hell gets offended by censored genitals? It’s not as if the female character models in PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds actually show anything. Even if they did, who the hell cares? It would just make PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds look like it was copying Conan Exiles , and that’s a totally different kind of drama. This is not an explicit image being shown. It’s literally censored by the very clothing that people are complaining about.
Let’s take a little detour to look at that fact, by the way. If PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds had suddenly replaced the female character models with a naked one, there still wouldn’t be any major moral problems. There would certainly be a few legal ones. PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds would have to completely re-do the ratings process and come back with a more strict age rating than before. That system is there for a reason, and no one should forgo it. Even still, if PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds wanted naked character models, there shouldn’t be anything inherently wrong with that. The human body is what it is and Americans need to get up to speed with the fact that there’s nothing wrong with it. We don’t have to be scared of our bodies. They are natural, and the only thing unnatural at work here is our reactions to them.
Let’s get back to the manner at hand here though. When I saw the headline that PlayerUnknown was getting harassed over a “sleazy character model” I just had to have a look. I pretty much already knew what I was going to be in for, but when I saw the before and after photos from the live and test servers, I literally laughed out loud. This is what all the fuss was about. Just a few extra curves on a character and everyone loses their minds. Some people find a camel toe to be sexy; I find it hilarious. It’s unfortunate and embarrassing whenever I see a swimsuit photo of myself bearing one. But I get over it, knowing that it’s just going to happen sometimes. When I see a photo of someone else’s camel toe, I generally laugh. It’s just funny.
The only real issue (barely) that I take away from this entire debacle is the fact that the men’s character models didn’t have anything new going on. If you’re going to show off a camel toe, then at least give us a bulge. It’s only fair right?