I can’t be the only guy on Earth that has thought the female villain busting my head open in-game was kind of hot. Like maybe the kind of hot I would hope to run into at a fan convention, and maybe have drinks with, and then, well, who knows? But regardless of all that, there are a ton of hot female badasses out there who can stomp a mud hole out of my characters anytime. Here are ten of my favorites.
Flemeth (Dragon Age II)
Okay so maybe she’s a bit older, but man has she still got it. I mean, at least until I found out she was actually a dragon dressed as a cougar. Then there was that whole smashing me into a bajillion pieces and all the crying and blood and shame afterwards. Okay so maybe it wasn’t such a great romp, but she’s still hot.
Kitana/Mileena/Jade (Mortal Kombat)
I am calling these characters the trifecta of terror. Or maybe the trifecta of T’n’A. I can’t really decide, but whichever I end up using, it’s still poetry in motion watching them dance and glide and murder their way through the ranks of the Mortal Kombat pantheon of fighters. In short, I would let them kick my ass anytime, as long as it was a happy ending and not a fatality…or humiliation. That would suck worse.
Harley Quinn (Batman: Arkham City)
Also known as Harleen Quinzel, she is the smoking hot–although a little neurotic and a whole lot psychotic–girlfriend of the Joker. Obviously a glutton for punishment, she keeps on hanging out with that stooge. I mean, we’ve even ben led to believe she’s having Joker’s baby (or someone’s baby) in Arkham City . But that’s neither here nor there. She’s hot and deadly.
Poison (Street Fighter 4)
I salute Capcom for always having the hottest in cartoon female foes in their games. Honestly though, when I saw poison for the first time, I needed a bucket of ice water. Having been a bit of a metal-head for the majority of my life, seeing a tough-as-nails biker chick who could dole out a whipping like Poison made me a little happy. It’s not that I like getting my face pounded by some hottie in cutoff shorts, but once in a great while I kind of do.
Raven (Gravity Rush)
I don’t know if it was the hair or the costume or maybe the ability to bend gravity to her will that made her hot. I am not honestly sure if that was it or the fact that she knew how to kick some ass or….no. It was definitely the costume. Yep. Well, that and all the other stuff, too. But mainly the costume. It has spurred tons of hot real-life females to start to cosplay her and that makes me even happier that there might someday be a chance. Honestly probably not, but a guy can dream.
Ada Wong (Resident Evil series)
I was a little behind the curves (pun intended) on this character. I actually didn’t even know who she was until my friend, Yaya Han, did a cosplay of her at Dragon Con in Atlanta. Not only was I floored by how hot the cosplay was, when I researched the character I was even more blown away. Someone so evil and so subversive and yet so stinking hot – It just can’t be legal. But it is and I am so, so glad.
Morinth (Mass Effect)
As if there weren’t already enough alien hotties to go around in the Mass Effect series, they went and made you chase after a nymphomaniacal psychopath named Morinth. One of the two daughters of Justicar Samarra, she’s the black sheep of the family. She runs around seedy nightclubs, seducing young men and women and then having her way with them before killing them. I know it shouldn’t be a sexy thing, but it sort of is. Just so long as she doesn’t try the killing part with me, I’m pretty much fine with the rest.
Sniper Wolf (Metal Gear Solid)
I am not going to lie to you when I say that I had (and still have a little) crush on this character. She was so amazingly hot and so incredibly deadly, but that wasn’t the end of it for me. It was the fact that her character had depth and despair. She was a woman trapped by her own vice. She thought that death was the only way out from her pain. I actually teared up a little when I finally killed her. Rest in peace, my love.
Okay. I don’t know how you finished this game but I became the king of hell. Does that make me a bad person? I don’t know. I included both lasses in this entry because they were both evil in their own way. Both hot, but both evil. One seduced you in your moment of weakness and made you doubt yourself, while the other was trying so hard to get you to commit to a long-term monogamous relationship. How come hot chicks are always pushing us guys into doing stuff? Oh wait, because they know we’ll do it. And now I’m the king of Hell…go figure.
GlaDOS (Portal series)
I share Claptrap’s affinity for GlaDOS. She has such a sexy voice, even though she’s trying to find the most interesting and ‘scientific’ ways to kill you. It’s that danger that makes her attractive. Every time you hear that voice goading you into doing something you know is incredibly stupid, it’s partly because you want to be defiant, but deep down it’s because that sexy voice in your headset made you do it.