Nintendo to make Wii in space*

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Space is the final frontier, at least as far as advertisers are concerned. Imagine all of that vast real estate going to waste each and every night as billions of people gaze skyward only to be confronted with the bleak, dark, vacuum that is space. Sure, it’s populated with a few twinkling stars, but how exciting is that? The geniuses at Nintendo have decided that those stars should do something exciting, namely spelling out the name of their most coveted console, the Wii.

“The idea is simple,” says Nintendo marketing manager Lee Meealone, “but incredibly complex and expensive to execute. We are going to launch two hundred and twenty seven satellites into orbit which will create the letters Wii. You will only be able to see them at night thanks to the reflection of the sun from the underside the Earth which will illuminate each satellite, making them appear exactly as a star. These satellites will orbit in a very strict formation, acting as dots that will make up each of the letters. Everyone in the world will see the Wii logo each night for the next three years,” explains Meealone.

According to NASA, there will only be one fully-functional satellite per letter, and the rest will be tethered to the main satellite to act only as reflectors. Otherwise the cost of this undertaking would be in the hundreds of billions. As such, the formation is expected to only last for three years at which time the main satellites will drag the entire system out of orbit. Everything will burn up upon reentry into the Earth’s atmosphere so there will be no danger of falling debris.

Shares in Nintendo have soared over the last couple of years as the company dominates the video game industry in Japan . Even the mighty Sony corporation has been surpassed by Nintendo which sees a massive .6 per-cent lead in stocks. Nintendo has been doing well for a company that started out more than a hundred years ago manufacturing playing cards. At the outset of the new millenium, Nintendo earned the distinction of having created the most popular gaming system in history, the Game Boy Advance. Since that time they have introduced the GameCube, DS and lately, the Wii console, which they believe will dominate the world in the next few years, thanks largely to this bold and unheralded advertising campaign.

“This is a historic moment in advertising,” boasts Meealone. “We will be the first to advertise in space and have a direct impact on sales here on Earth. No more boring nights staring at the stars. Everyone will know what the Wii is, even tribes in Borneo and people as far away as Canada . After we launch our campaign you can expect to see similar formations from such giants as Coke, Nike, Disney, and Cheat Code Central. The sky will be alive like a giant TV screen for the rest of eternity,” says Meealone.

*This article is presented as an exclusive Cheat Code Central feature titled “Are you dumb enough to believe this?” Please check back each Friday for the newest edition.

The image featured at the top of this post is ©Square Enix.