CheatCC Contest Results in Van Hackery*

CheatCC Contest Results in Van Hackery*


Arty Hackery, former CEO of Cheat CC is the new lead vocalist and frontman for legendary rock band Van Halen.

After winning a video game challenge exclusive to Cheat CC this Spring, Arty Hackery,  the 56-year old former CEO sang his way to the top and won the coveted prize to become the lead singer of one of the most popular bands in rock history. The band’s former lead singers consisted of the David Lee Roth and Sammy Hagar. A world-wide contest was conducted online at Cheat CC in which participants downloaded software that allowed them to record their auditions and upload them to the Van Halen website where they were judged by fans. Arty Hackery won the contest by default, as his was the only entry.

“It’s kind of disappointing, and maybe even a little suspicious that Arty Hackery won this contest,” says Van Halen manager Pete Worste. “Not only is Arty old and out of shape, but the only song that can sing with any sense of melody is Old MacDonald Had a Friggin’ Farm. I find it rather odd that his was the only submission. I mean, he was the former CEO of Cheat CC, and that makes me think that maybe he misplaced the other competitors’ auditions.”

When asked how he could possibly account for the fact that there were no other entries and the general lack of promotion about the contest. Hackery’s response was to unscrew a light bulb from the ceiling and throw it against the wall causing a mild pop and an embarrassing display. “I’m a rockstar now, and I can get away with that kind of behavior. Any more questions,” Hackery leered?

The contest was the brainchild of the new Cheat CC CEO and the Van Halen band. Similar TV shows have tired this concept but the members of Van Halen are ardent gamers and know that through Cheat CC they will reach millions upon millions of viewers, and hopefully find their future frontman. The contest had an advertising budget of two million dollars. According to Worste, nobody has even heard of the contest.

“Not only do I believe that Hackery fixed the contest for himself, but I believe he embezzled the advertising funds. How else can he explain that gold-plated Hummer he’s been driving,” asks Worste?

“I won it playing strip poker,” explains Hackery. “I was down to my underwear when I lost my last hand and someone offered me the vehicle if I would just keep my clothes on. So I did. But I did drive home naked in it,” he adds.

*This article is presented as an exclusive Cheat Code Central feature titled “Are you dumb enough to believe this?” Please check back each Friday for the newest edition.

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